Livin' for the Lord!!

It's weighing heavy on me. It's all I can think about, night and day. Before I bring it to you in prayer, I suppose I should pray for those who are less fortunate than me-----
those in this world who have barely enough food for this day,
and those who don't have a roof over their heads at night.

I also pray for families who have lost loved ones in sudden death,
for parents whose children have leukemia, for the many people who are dying of brain tumors, for the hundreds of thousands who are laid waste with other terrible cancers, for people whose bodies have been suddenly shattered in car wrecks, for those who are lying in hospital with agonizing burns over their bodies, whose faces have been burned beyond recognition.

I pray for people with emphysema,
whose eyes fill with terror as they struggle for every breath merely to live, for those who are tormented beyond words by irrational fears, for the elderly who are wracked with the pains of aging, whose only "escape" is death.

I pray for people who are watching their loved ones fade before their eyes through the grief of Alzheimer's disease, for the many thousands who are suffering the agony of Aids, for those who are in such despair they are about to commit suicide, for people who are tormented by the demons of alcoholism, and drug addiction.

I pray for children who have been abandoned by their parents,
for those who are sexually abused, for wives held in quiet despair,
beaten and abused by cruel and drunken husbands, for people whose minds have been destroyed by mental disorders, for those who have lost everything in floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes.

I pray for the blind,
who never see the faces of the ones they love, or the beauty of a sunrise, for those whose bodies are horribly deformed by painful arthritis, for the many whose lives will be taken from them today by murderers, for those wasting away on their deathbeds in hospitals.

Most of all, I cry out for the millions who don't know the forgiveness that is in Jesus Christ....
for those who in a moment of time will be swept into Hell by the cold hand of death, and find to their utter horror the unspeakable vengeance of eternal fire. They will be eternally damned to everlasting punishment. O God, I pray for them.

Strange,
I can't seem to remember what my problem was.
In Jesus name I pray,Amen."

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone
To have a deep soul relationship with another
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively 

But, God, to a Christian says: No, not until you are satisfied, filled and content with being loved by Me alone with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me alone discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. 

You will never be united with one another until you are united with Me. Exclusively for anyone or anything else Exclusively for any other desires or longings I want you to stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing 

One that you cannot imagine I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am, keep learning the things that I want to tell you. You just wait, wait. That’s all.

Don’t be anxious.
Don’t worry
Don’t look around at the things that others have gotten or that I have given them
Don’t look at the things you think you want

You just keep looking off and away to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you , and when you are ready I will surprise you with a love more beautiful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready, You will never be able to experience the great love that is waiting for you (I am working even at this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time)

Until you are both satisfied with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly 
I am God ………
Believe it and be satisfied.

"Be Still and know that I am God" - Psalm 46:10

About six years ago, I went to the Poconos for a winter retreat with my church.  It was a small, simple gathering of about forty kids.  

We were not yet teens but slowly coming to realize ourselves as more than just children. 

Since I was new to the church, a few friends of mine gave me a basic overview on the kids of our youth group.  I can still remember a few random faces and the descriptions that went with them:  

"Oh, that's so-and-so. He's such a pussy; he wet the bed at last year's retreat." or "That's the kid that kicked so-and-so's butt cuz he bothered his sister."  
  
Yet the one that haunts me with such clarity to this day is of a little girl, probably in the third grade at the time.  With uneven locks of greasy hair adorning her mishappen face, she was constantly bombarded with ridicule from the heartless and unsympathetic.  She was born with a physical ailment that affected her coordination and altered her facial features.  It would be almost a daily retreat tradition for us to yell "retard" as she passed by on her  way to the chapel.                              
  
Yet, as the final day of our retreat neared, we all prepared our hearts for the most emotional night...the night in which voices would cry, hands would be  raised, and eyes would flow freely without considering what the person next to you would think the following day.  Yet, instead of pouring our hearts out in a scattered groups on the floor as expected, our pastor told us to stay in our seats for a moment.  
                                                            
After about three minutes of composed silence, he said with calm, monotone sincerity,                                

"Who here loves Jesus?"  

Everyone raised their hand; some even shouted small cries of their devotion. 
                                
"Who here really loves Jesus?" he repeated. 
                                
Again, everyone raised their arms, some fists clenched, accompanied by countless amens and hallelujahs.  Then, as the silence reentered the room, he slowly produced a seven-inch long, steel stake from behind his back.  With eyes of ice, he said,  

"Then those of you that really love Jesus please come to the front of the room...and suffer his fate."  

A confused and scared silence congested the air of the room.  No one dared make a sound, even a cough, for fear that everyone else may look at him.  It seemed as though everything had been frozen in a heavy fog that engulfed the room. Watches seemed to have stopped.  Eyes ceased to blink.  The only thing that moved was the flowing perspiration as we all waited for something to happen.  The pastor clenched the stake high above his head.  

"Who here is willing to place their hand out for this stake to puncture it?  Who?  WHO?!" 
                                
A small, scraping sound arose from the back row.  It was the sound of a little girl,  whimpering and stumbling, slowly rising from her chair. She broke the expectations of every person that had looked down on her, the retard, the ugly retard, just as Jesus had been resurrected in spite of the Romans' hatred of him.  She bore the weight of everyone's stares and snickers as she limped up the aisle to the front of the room, just as Jesus had arduously carried his cross.  Slowly lifting her ugly head to the pastor, she muttered,  

"I will." 
                                                              
Tears coursed from the pastor's eyes as he asked her with fervent conviction, 
                                
"Are you willing to pierce your hands for Jesus? Are you?!"  

Her face was streaked with the rivers of tears, not emotional tears like that of all of ours had been, but spiritual tears flowing from her dull eyes. She  slowly peeled her arms from her sides and lifted them to the man before her.  
                               
"Yes." 

Not much changed the next day.  She  didn't miraculously lose her physical defects.  She was still made fun of...mostly by the kids that weren't at the last night's service.  And I'm sure that if I asked any of the kids that were in that room the final night if they ever made fun of anyone ever again that they would all say yes.  But the fact of the matter is, that occurence will stay with all of us, the teachers, the kids, everyone, for the rest of our lives.   
                              
And perhaps we should all stop being so judgmental, so ready to accuse or  ridicule or hate, and stop modeling ourselves to be like the Romans.  Because as much as it surprised us all, the only one of us that approached  the pastor with a sincere courage was that "retard, that ugly retard" girl.    
                               
And even though we already know to do this, do we really always follow it?  Well, that just shows the understanding and love of Jesus, of how much he can allow himself to be spit on and laughed at and still forgive us...just like a  humble, disabled little girl with a monumental spirit.  Pass this on...and I hope this girl's courage and sincere faith has affected you and will remind you of  Christ's love as much as it has me.

I promise to keep my purity for God's time.
I can do this with Christ who strengthens me.
Sufficient is God's grace.
I promise to wait on God.
I will seek him in the morning and all day.
I will trust my Lord Jesus and obey.
I will kiss no other man but you.
I pray God forbid me from evil.
I will allow God to prepare me for you.
God holds the key of my heart.
He knows exactly whom to give it.
Dear man of God, I believe in you.
I believe that God will bring us together.
I will not listen to ungodly council.
But I will open my ears to the people who point me to God.
"Let integrity and uprightousness preserve me,
preserve me, for I wait for you." (Ps.25:21)
Keep me pure everyday. Jesus help me.

By: Yoli Blando

On Good Friday, 1994, just before midnight, my telephone rang. On the line was my brother, he told me that my 16 year old nephew, Dustin, had just died in a car wreck.  Instantly my heart felt like it was in my stomach. My brother told me that there wasn’t any need for me to come down that night and I told him I would see him in the morning. I then told my wife and can remember crying in her arms.

The next morning, as I drove the 22 miles to my hometown, it just felt like a dream. I just kept thinking of my sister and how she must be handling this tragedy. As I walked into the house, I hugged my sister and told her how very sorry I was. As the day went on, I just watched her and her husband and kept thinking of my children, Ryan, who is one and a half months older than Dustin, and my daughter Tara. I couldn’t imagine losing either of them and how would I handle such a situation; they mean so much to me. My brother and I went with my sister to the funeral home to make arrangements; again I thought how hard this is.

The next few days, thru the visitation and funeral, nothing seemed like it was real. I continued to watch my sister and see her torture and worried about her. I knew that she believed in God, but was not a regular churchgoer. As prayers were said, the ones that affected me most were the prayers of healing for my family. My parents were torn up, especially my dad. Dad loves sports and Dustin was a very good basketball player, as my son was a very good baseball player, and my dad loved to watch both of them play.

You often hear of sightings and people hearing from the loved ones passed on. Over the next couple of weeks, my sister’s family experienced this. As I listened and watched their struggle, with the loss of Dustin, I thought a lot about these experiences they were having. I come to my own conclusion that God will open up any avenue possible to help with the healing process that we have asked him for. If it takes sight or sound to help heal and bring comfort in the loss of a loved one, then that is what God will let us have, to be able to begin to heal. I believe that this is what my sister’s family needed to begin to heal.

As the years went by and I watched the struggles of my sister, in dealing with her loss, I often wondered how much she turned to God. I began to notice more healing as she began to share some religious items that seemed to help her. One of the hard things of healing for her was watching my son, Ryan, grow and then go on to college and play baseball, it just made all of us think of what Dustin would be doing. But as time went on I noticed that my sister and her family were coming out of their shell of hurt and that they were opening up more with all of us.

On June 15,2000, my phone rang at 3:30 in the morning, it was my daughter, Tara. She was yelling in the phone, “Dad get over here, Ryan has just killed himself.” I instantly went numb and questioned her and she told me that he had hung himself. I told her I would be right there. I told my wife and then got dressed. Later, I remembered that I didn’t shed a tear at that time, I believe it was because I was in shock.

Once again I was in my car and everything seemed to be a dream. As I drove the 10 miles to Ryan’s apartment, I just kept wondering why? When I arrived my daughter came running up to me and I held her and told her everything would be ok. I went to their mother and asked what had happened. She told me that she had been talking to him and we realized in her talk with him what might have been the trigger mechanism, but if there was any deep emotional problems that we might never know what really caused him to take his life. As we talked to his friends and people that had seen him that night, we realized that if there were deep seeded problems, no one else knew about them, he had been his cheerful self with everyone that night. Only an incident that happened on his way home must have been the start of his anxiety and pain.

As things settled down and I headed back home, I remember thinking why? He had a good job that he really liked, a girlfriend, lots of friends, and had just bought a new car. He had had some tough times, as most kids do, but it seemed like he had just got his life on track and had even seen his future ahead of him. I realized at that point that this is something that could tear me apart, trying to understand why.

As I arrived home, I hugged my wife and we cried. I told her about the circumstances that led up to him taking his life. Somewhere in time, I can’t remember when, my wife told me that this was tearing her up, she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to me, since Ryan was just her stepson. Ryan had lived with us since he was a sophomore in high school and she had grown to love him. She then told me that she had called my brother and he was going to go tell my parents.

I then went out and sat on our back patio, it is very peaceful there, our yard is full of flowers and it is very relaxing. It was then that I spoke to Ryan. I told him that I didn’t understand, but if there was that much anxiety and pain in his life, at that time, I did know that the pain was now gone and it would never bother him again. I told him that I felt he made the wrong decision, but it was his decision and I would somehow learn to live with it. I told him that I would not drive myself crazy trying to understand and that when we met again, he could tell me, or I might not even care at that point in time.

I then turned to Jesus and I was angry. I asked him how could he let my son do this. What had he ever done to deserve this, or was I that bad a parent that this was my punishment? Jesus knew that I believed and that I knew that he guides our lives, but I couldn’t understand this. I was mad and upset and I blamed Jesus for this. All I could do was ask him, “Why?”

As my family started to arrive at my house, my pastor also arrived. As we all gathered in the living room, my pastor said a prayer. In the prayer, he said that we don’t always understand and that now he asked Jesus to start healing our family. As I listened to the words of prayer, I realized that I should not be angry with Jesus, that I was going to have to have his support in helping to take away this terrible pain that I felt. As that first day came to an end, I asked Jesus to forgive me for my anger and to help ease the pain and to maybe give me an answer to the question, “Why?”

It took some time, but as I look back, I realize that Jesus was healing me. It all began the very next day. Before we went to the funeral home for visitation, I felt moved to write a Father’s Day message, since it was that coming Sunday. I didn’t know at the time why I felt so strong about that message, but I realize now that it was a part of my healing process. At the visitation, I gave my message to my pastor to read on Sunday to my church family. The visitation put me in a dream state, nothing seemed real and I would stay that way for awhile.

The next day, at the funeral, everything seemed like a dream. I don’t remember anything that was said. At the end, Ryan’s mom got up and spoke and I don’t remember what she even said. I was to speak after her at the very end and I had no idea what I would say, if I could say anything. As his mom got done, she said there was a song that Tara had picked out to play. I remember listening and at the very start of the song it got my attention. I realized that Jesus was letting me know what my life was going to be like from now on, thru the words of this song.

The chorus was this: “Every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every time I pray, I’ll be missing you. Thinking of the day, that you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I’ll be missing you.” I have a copy of that song and from time to time I will play it. Ryan loved music and I get a feeling of closeness to him when I hear those words.

When the song ended and I stepped up to speak, I was really nervous. I spoke first to his friends and told them that they were still a part of our lives. After I spoke to them, I stepped back from the podium and paused for a second.

Later as my wife and I talked, she said she wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but when I stepped back up to speak, she said she had never heard my voice stronger or steadier. You see, at that point in time, I felt like Ryan wrapped his arms around me and even though I did not hear his voice, that feeling made me feel like he was letting me know that he had heard me and that everything was going to be ok. I also felt the presence of Jesus with me.

I stepped back up to the podium and I explained that I had written a Father’s Day message and had given it to my pastor to read at church the next day, but that I would like to share it with everyone now. I didn’t have the paper in front of me, but I felt that I could remember the words since I had just written them the day before.

I told everyone that this was very important to me and it was my true feelings. This is how it goes: “We are so proud when our children are born and we hold them for the first time. As they grow, especially when they are little, we constantly hold them and remind them that we love them.

As they get older and into school, we are so proud when they get good grades and do well in school. As they begin to play sports, boy can we brag on how good they are. Our children make us so proud of them, even when they have trouble in their lives, we still love them and worry about them.

But one thing that a lot of us fathers do, is as they get older, we don’t always grab them and hug them and tell them that we love them, as often as we should. So on this Father’ s Day, the day that we are supposed to be honored, grab your children, hug them, tell them that you love them, because tomorrow you may not be able to.”

I had a hard time saying the very end of that message, but I was able to and then I went back to my seat in tears. As I sat there, I felt strength grow and some pain go away. I knew that Jesus was working on me and that Ryan was there also. I’ve never felt stronger or more aware then I did at that time.

As we left for the cemetery, my parents were with me in the car and I explained to them how I was feeling. At the cemetery, I felt like I absorbed every word that the minister was saying, it was as if all my senses were awoken. I’ve felt strong ever since.

I feel that one of the reasons Jesus gave me this strength, at the time he did, is because he felt the concern that I had for my parents. I know how hard it was when we lost Dustin and I was really worried about them now. I felt it was important for them to see the strength I had gotten, so they would not worry about me.

The Monday after the funeral, I told my wife that I wanted to go see my parents because I was worried about them. We sat that night and talked about everything and especially how I felt and how strong my religious beliefs and faith was. When we left that night, we got in the car and my wife put her hand on my leg and said that she felt that my parents would be okay, because they were drawing off of my strength.

As time passed by the Lord put in front of me a lot of different poems. All of these poems had religious themes to them and all of them touched me and made me feel better. There are two poems that really touched me. The first one hit on exactly how I was feeling, it’s called: SOMETIMES I WANT TO CRY: “There is love in my sorrow, there is love in my tears. Give me the courage and strength, through the coming years to hold on to yesterday’s memories, so all may know the love in my heart and the love from my soul.

Sometimes I want to cry but if I shed a tear for that precious child no longer near, just know that I need a little time to fight back the tears.....and I’ll be fine. Oh, I want the rainbows but don’t want the storms, I want the roses but I don’t want the thorns. Oh sometimes I want to be weak and lean on you to find comfort and strength in all I say and do. Lord, sometimes I want to cry but if I shed a tear for that precious child no longer near, just know that I need a little time to fight back the tears.... And I’ll be fine.

When I get to heaven and I see my little one, standing before Jesus, God’s only son. I’ll have no need for tears or memories.... For we will be together for eternity. Just to think of that sweet day.... Sometimes I want to cry. The last part of that poem really touches on how I feel it will be like when I leave this earth. I will see my son again and I probably won’t even want to know why things happened, because I will just be glad to see him again.

As I had said earlier, when everything first happened, I asked Jesus Why? The next poem that I found helps me understand that question. It is called: THIS CHILD OF MINE: “I’ll lend you for a little while a child of mine,” God said. “For you to have the while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead. It may be six or seven years or twenty-two or three; But will you till I call him back take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief, you’ll have his lovely memories as a solace for your grief. I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth must return; But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn. I’ve looked the whole world over in search for teachers true; And from the throngs that crown life’s land, I have chosen you.

Now will you give him all your love nor think the labor vain? Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again? I fancied that I heard them say, “Dear Lord, Thy will be done. For all the joys thy child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run. We’ll shower him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may. And for the happiness we’ve known forever grateful stay. But should thy angel call for him much sooner than we’ve planned, we’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

After the first time I read that poem, I instantly read it again and realized that Jesus was answering my question. When I read this poem I felt more of the pain lifted from me. I do believe that we are all of God’s children and he can call us home at anytime. As the first Christmas without Ryan got closer, I knew that it would be different without him with us. My heart was heavy, but I knew that I would be surrounded by family and we would all make it thru the holidays, we had done this before.

Once again, Jesus brought a poem to me, this time thru my daughter. She had been touched by this poem and wanted to share it with me. Of all the poems, because of that, this means the most and is once again what I believe.

The poem is called: I’M SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST THIS YEAR: “ I see the countless Christmas trees, around the world below, with tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear, for I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear, but the sounds of music can’ t compare with the Christmas choir up here. For I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description to hear an angel sing. I can’ t tell you of the splendor, or the peace here in this place, can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior, face to face. I’ll ask him to light your spirit, as I tell him of your love, so then pray one for another as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful, and let your spirit sing, for I’m spending Christmas in heaven, and I’m walking with the King. Jesus has been healing me by bringing poems and people to me, he has surrounded me with a loving family and a loving church family. In doing this, Jesus is healing me by reawakening my faith, spirit and beliefs.

I have always believed that Jesus always has his hands on us and guides us in our life, even in times that we are not aware of. Now, sometimes we may shake his hand off of us and wander, but because we truly believe, we always come back and ask him for forgiveness and he accepts us back, with a lesson learned. I believe that Jesus guided me back a number of years ago, back into his house that I had wandered away from.

He did this to renew my faith, because he knew what I would one day be facing and he was preparing me for this time in my life. I do understand that no matter how tragic our life can be, you cannot afford to turn your back and close your heart to Jesus, no matter how upset you may be at the time.

You need to face him, open your arms to him and open your heart, so he can enter into your spirit. Without that, it can be almost impossible to face your grief alone. He heals all of us in different ways, but he will heal us when we ask, we just have to truly believe. He has taken the terrible pain from my heart and made me stronger. The thoughts and memories of Ryan are those that bring a smile to my face and make me glad that I had him with me as long as I did.

Because Jesus has renewed my faith, I was able to answer a question once asked of me about Ryan going to heaven even though he committed suicide. I believe that it was a sin, but my Savior is a loving and forgiving Savior.

He died for our sins and showed us that as long as we believe that he will forgive us and let us be by his side in heaven. I know that Ryan believed. When I was approached, by a friend, and given his condolences, he said that he had been hearing good things about how I was doing.

He said that I must have someone upstairs watching over me. I told him that I had two people watching over me, Jesus and Ryan. After he walked away, I realized that I had on a chain that had been Ryan’s as a symbol of his arms around me.

As soon as I got off work, I went to the jewelry store and bought a cross and put on the necklace, I’ve never taken the chain off since. Jesus has also strengthened my spiritual gift. When I took a test, to see what my gift was, before I started I wrote what I thought my spiritual gift was.

I wrote, “The ability to make people feel good about themselves and life.” When I took the test, it come back that my spiritual gift was Encouragement. By Jesus strengthening my spiritual gift, it has helped me to remain strong for my family. It has allowed me to open myself up to people to show them how my faith has helped me heal.

It has allowed me to share the poems and thoughts that I have, not in a way to look for sympathy, but to give encouragement to people that may be going thru the same circumstances that I am. T

hat maybe my story will be an inspiration to them, so that they can start their healing process and understand that they are not alone. They can see that Jesus is working with me and thru me, to make me strong and face my circumstance.

Now, there is still an ache in my heart, not a terrible pain, but an ache. I believe that Jesus will not touch that ache, it is there because I have lost my son and it will be with me till I meet him in heaven one day.

So when I shed a tear, it is not of pain, but because I am at a point, that I really miss Ryan. They are tears of Selfishness and Jealousy. Jesus understands and I’ll explain them so you can understand.

Tears of selfishness--Ryan is not only a child of God, but he is my son. I am selfish, in the fact, that I want him here with me, not at the side of God. I miss him, he should be walking thru my door, wanting to play golf or showing me something he has gotten or just stopping by to say hi.

He belongs here with me. Tears of jealousy--I’m jealous of Jesus. I believe that heaven is the most beautiful place we will ever see. I believe that it is full of love, joy and happiness. I believe that the very special things that we enjoy on earth, we get to do in heaven. For instance, I love to play golf.

When I get to play heaven’s golf course, Jesus will let me be so good, that even Tiger Woods won’t be able to get on the same course with me. So when I say I’m jealous of Jesus, it’s because he is getting to do what I loved to do. Jesus is playing with and watching Ryan play baseball.

Right now, Jesus is up to bat and Ryan is on the pitching mound and he has that smile on his face, that he always had, because he knows that he is about to pitch his best pitch, a curveball to Jesus. That is why I’m jealous of Jesus.

Now Jesus knows and understands all the feelings that I have. I know that Jesus will always be there for me and that he will keep working for and with me. Jesus will keep his arms on me and continue to guide me. The one thing that I truly understand: Faith--it can keep you going.

Submitted by Steve Baumgartner

He said we've got your number
There is no escape
For here are your transgressions
Your failures and mistakes

He pointed to the corner
Where the scales of justice stood
I saw so many failures there
There was nothing good

And in that very moment
When it seemed all hope was lost
I said I plead the blood of Jesus
And His death upon the cross

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

I stood and watched in silence
As others were brought in
I saw them start to tremble
When they turned and faced their sin

They offered no excuses
They offered no alibis
The truth was overwhelming
And it would not be denied

Their righteousness like filthy rags
And nothing they could say
They bowed their heads in silence
As they were led away

But for the true believers
Each time it was the same
His glory shown around them as
They called upon His name

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered their transgressions
For all the times they failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

No greater sacrifice has any other made
O yes he paid the price
With every drop He gave
One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

I had always felt like a misfit in school. My friends, although good and true friends, were not in the crowd of popular kids in school. Besides, I was sure I was funny looking. I just didn't fit the mold.

Parading constantly before my eyes was "the fun group" - the popular kids - always laughing and whispering, never sad or depressed, skipping their way through school, the best of friends. Teachers loved them, boys loved them, the whole school loved them. I worshipped them and wanted to be just like them. I dreamed of the day that they would accept me.

My dream came true when I turned fourteen and I tried out for the cheerleading squad. To my surprise, I was chosen. Almost instantly, I was thrust into the "in crowd."

I felt like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. I changed my hair and the way I dressed. Everyone thought the change in me was fantastic - new clothes, a new group of friends and a new outlook on life.

Almost overnight, the whole school knew who I was, or at least they knew my name. There were parties and sleepovers, and of course, cheering at the games. I was finally one of the popular kids. Everyone I had hoped to know, I knew. Everything I had wanted to be, I was.

Something strange was happening to me, however. The more I was included with the "in crowd," the more confused I became. In reality, these people were far from perfect.

They talked behind each other's backs while they pretended to be best friends. They rarely had a truly good time but smiled and faked it. They cared about what I was wearing and who I was seen with. But they didn't care about who I was, what I believed in, what my dreams were or what made me who I was. It was a shock to see them as they really were, instead of as I had "thought" they were.

I began to feel a huge sense of loss and disappointment. But worst of all, I realized that I was becoming just like them, and I didn't like what was happening at all. I had to get my life back in order. I concentrated first on finding out who my real friends were - the ones who listened and who really cared about me.

They were the only ones who really mattered. I stayed with cheerleading because I really enjoyed it. But I stopped hanging around with only the popular kids, and I widened my circle of friends. I found out that my real friends had never left me. They were simply waiting for me to come to my senses. I finally realized that my original friends were all I would ever need.

by Kerri Warren
from Chicken Soup for the Kid's Soul
Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap

A mother told her young son to go to bed and be sure to say his prayers and ask God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying: " And make me a good boy if You can; and if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having fun the way I am."

Does this sound familiar? How many times do we think this? I do not think that anyone would admit it, but we all know that sin is fun. Why is it fun? It should not be, but it is, because it is easy and it gives instant gratification. That is not what God calls us to do though. It has been said that the things that mean the most, that are most important and meaningful, are the things that we have to work for.

That is the way the Christian life is. First of all we have to work to be obedient. It is a constant battle to do what is right, but the end result is much better than the instant gratification that we get the other way.  I heard a sermon one time about choices. We all have choices, but what we have to live with is the consequences. What I do today will never change, but the consequence of that choice is something that I will have to live with.  My challenge to you is to think about what you do and make sure that it is God's will that you do it. Does this situation look like it will be in God's plan?  Will it glorify him?  That is a question that we should always be asking.

John 8:34,36 - Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Prayer: Lord, deliver us from the blindness that deceives itself into thinking that sin is more fun. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen.

The words of an engraving from the cathedral of Lubeck, Germany, beautifully reflect our Lord's teaching here:

"Thus speaketh Christ our Lord to us, You call Me master and obey Me not, you call Me light and see Me not, you call Me the way and walk Me not, you call Me life and live Me not, you call Me wise and follow Me not, you call Me fair and love Me not, you call Me rich and ask Me not, you call Me eternal and seek Me not, if I condemn thee, blame Me not."

Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone, to have a deep and committed soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and unconditionally.

But God says: No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.

I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me; exclusively of anyone or anything else; exclusively of any other desires and belongings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing -- one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.

Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me .. and this is perfect love.

He said we've got your number
There is no escape
For here are your transgressions
Your failures and mistakes

He pointed to the corner
Where the scales of justice stood
I saw so many failures there
There was nothing good

And in that very moment
When it seemed all hope was lost
I said I plead the blood of Jesus
And His death upon the cross

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

I stood and watched in silence
As others were brought in
I saw them start to tremble
When they turned and faced their sin

They offered no excuses
They offered no alibis
The truth was overwhelming
And it would not be denied

Their righteousness like filthy rags
And nothing they could say
They bowed their heads in silence
As they were led away

But for the true believers
Each time it was the same
His glory shown around them as
They called upon His name

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered their transgressions
For all the times they failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

No greater sacrifice has any other made
O yes he paid the price
With every drop He gave
One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

One drop of blood
Fell to the scales
It covered my transgressions
For all the times I failed

The enemy was mighty
He came in like a flood
He was defeated by one drop of blood

I'm sure we've all seen on T.V.
All the fuss and pomp at the Academy.

Thousands of dollars spent on dress.
Lots of attention on actors and actress.

They walk the stage in gallant stride.
And receive their awards with style and pride.

Their satisfaction they cannot hide.
Their accomplishments range far and wide.

But the award they receive is so temporary.
When compared to ours in eternity.

They labor for an award that perishes.
But we, we labor for eternal riches.

They labor for the fleeting applause of men.
But we, our labor is not in vain.

For in Heaven's Academy we will be.
With the Son of God who died for you and me.

And there's no better or higher place to be.
Than seated in robes of white, in Heaven's Academy.

Want to hear something interesting?? God has his own agenda. I hadn't even sent you all the email yet and God decided to use the opportunity. As I was proof reading the paper over and over this one enlisted guy whom I usually talk to at nights came in. He works the night shift for our DET.

7pm-7am. He is night shift supervisor so he is in charge at night. His name is AE1 Yang. Usually, it is kind of understood to give people respect when they are emailing by not reading their email, but he saw that I was writing a novel. Him and I usually talk anyways so he said what's up and asked what I was working on. I told him I was working on a project. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but that is when it happened.

"Can I read it" came out of his mouth. I wasn't anticipating that. It caught me totally off guard. Um um was my response. I said it is kind of personal.

I just assumed it was Satan sending someone in to distract me. Anyways, he persisted and said, "come on, I know I joke around a lot, but I can be serious when I need to." So again he asked, and I said okay so long as he wouldn't say something negative. He said okay. And then he read it. I didn't know what to think. Well, evidently I was incorrect. Cuz instead of Satan sending Yang, it was definitely God. When he finished reading the paper, he was quiet for a second. I was quiet cuz i didn't know what to say. He opened up by saying, I feel really convicted right now. I sat there confused. He said he feels convicted, cuz of my resistance to him reading the paper. If I wasn't openly willing to allow him to read it, then that means his outward appearance must not be Christ-like. He then goes on to tell me about his life and how he became saved. He told me how he was one of those Christians who has been compromising this whole cruise, which is why no one could tell of his belief system. We talked for about a two hours, with distractions walking in and out. He then opened up and told me, now that he knows I am a Christian, it all makes sense. It is like the light turned on about how I am getting treated out here. He said in his 18 year navy career there have been 4 people that he can remember who were classic cases of how a Christian is treated in the military. He said I was a classic case. It felt so good for one second knowing that someone actually understood. Since I have been talking to him over the months, we have talked about family and he has come to me for advice. He said it all makes sense now where I was coming up with my advice. I told him now he knows where I was getting my information (the Bible). Anyways, so that is my story thus far. I hadn't even sent off the paper to you nor my family and God was already working. Now I wake up a couple minutes ago and I have an email from this guy and he is asking me to be is accountability partner. He said it will be good now that we are on the same page as to where we stand in beliefs. I wasn't expecting this at all. I am somewhat caught off guard. Here I wrote something for people at home and a curve ball is thrown.

Read LT John Gomez's Challenging life in the military

Come; follow the path to the cross,
Where the Savior paid for you;
And although the journeys not easy,
You'll find eternal life, if you do.

The path it has many a cross road,
From the straight path do not stray;
For going along down a cross road,
You can easily lose your way.

Remember the Saviors footprints,
Have been down this pathway before;
Just follow along and you'll find,
He's walking the pathway once more.

Let Him guide and show you the pathway,
Through life as you travel along;
Just follow wherever He leads you,
You'll never be lead into wrong.

For the cross is our savior's redemption,
The place where He gives life to you;
The place where you gain Gods forgiveness,
The doorway of heaven for you.

So follow the path of The Savior,
He's waiting there just for you;
He holds in His hands your redemption,
And Gods forgiveness to you.

He sits by himself at a table for two.

The uniformed waiter returns to his side and asks, "Would you like to go ahead and order, sir?" The man has, after all, been waiting since seven o'clock -- almost half an hour.

"No, thank you," the man smiles. "I'll wait for her a while longer. How about some more coffee?"

"Certainly, sir."

The man sits, his clear blue eyes gazing straight through the flowered centerpiece. He fingers his napkin, allowing the sounds of light chatter, tinkling silverware, and mellow music to fill his mind. He is dressed in sport coat and tie. His dark brown hair is neatly combed, but one stray lock insists on dropping to his forehead. The scent of his cologne adds to his clean cut image. He is dressed up enough to make a companion feel important, respected, loved. Yet he is not so formal as to make one uncomfortable. It seems that he has taken every precaution to make others feel at ease with him.

Still, he sits alone.

The waiter returns to fill the man's coffee cup. "Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?"

"No, thank you."

The waiter remains standing at the table. Something tugs at his curiosity. "I don't mean to pry, but..." His voice trails off. This line of conversation could jeopardize his tip.

"Go ahead," the man encourages. His is strong, yet sensitive, inviting conversation.

"Why do you bother waiting for her?" the waiter finally blurts out. This man has been at the restaurant other evenings, always patiently alone.

Says the man quietly, "Because she needs me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, sir, no offense, but assuming that she needs you, she sure isn't acting much like it. She's stood you up three times just this week."

The man winces, and looks down at the table. "Yes, I know."

"Then why do you still come here and wait?"

"Cassie said that she would be here."

"She's said that before," the waiter protests. "I wouldn't put up with it. Why do you?"

Now the man looks up, smiles at the waiter, and says simply, "Because I love her."

The waiter walks away, wondering how one could love a girl who stands him up three times a week. The man must be crazy, he decides. Across the room, he turns to look at the man again. The man slowly pours cream into his coffee. He twirls his spoon between his fingers a few times before stirring sweetener into his cup. After staring for a moment into the liquid, the man brings the cup to his mouth and sips, silently watching those around him. He doesn't look crazy, the waiter admits. Maybe the girl has qualities that I don't know about. Or maybe the man's love is stronger than most. The waiter shakes himself out of his musings to take an   order from a party of five.

The man watches the waiter, wonders if he's ever been stood up. The man has, many times. But he still can't get used to it. Each time, it hurts. He's looked forward to this evening all day. He has many things, exciting things, to tell Cassie. But, more importantly, he wants to hear Cassie's voice. He wants her to tell him all about her day, her triumphs, her defeats....anything, really. He has tried so many times to show Cassie how much he loves her. He'd just like to know that she cares for him, too. He sips sporadically at the coffee, and loses himself in thought,
knowing that Cassie is late, but still hoping that she will arrive.

The clock says nine-thirty when the waiter returns to the man's table. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

The still empty chair stabs at the man. "No, I think that will be all for tonight. May I have the check please?"

"Yes, sir."

When the waiter leaves, the man picks up the check. He pulls out his wallet and signs. He has enough money to have given Cassie a feast. But he takes out only enough to pay for his five cups of coffee and the tip. Why do you do this, Cassie, his mind cries as he gets up from the table.

"Good-bye," the waiter says, as the man walks towards the door.

"Good night. Thank you for your service."

"You're welcome, sir," says the waiter softly, for he sees the hurt in the man's eyes that his smile doesn't hide.

The man passes a laughing young couple on his way out, and his eyes glisten as he thinks of the good time he and Cassie could have had. He stops at the front and makes reservations for tomorrow. Maybe Cassie will be able to make it, he thinks.

"Seven o'clock tomorrow for party of two?" the hostess confirms.

"That's right," the man replies.

"Do you think she'll come??" asks the hostess. She doesn't mean to be rude, but she has watched the man many times alone at his table for two.

"Someday, yes. And I will be waiting for her." The man buttons his overcoat and walks out of the restaurant, alone. His shoulders are hunched, but through the windows the hostess can only guess whether they are hunched against the wind or against the man's hurt.

As the man turns toward home, Cassie turns into bed. She is tired after an evening out with friends. As she reaches toward her night stand to set the alarm, she sees the note that she scribbled to herself last night.

"7:00," it says. "Spend some time in prayer." Darn, she thinks. She forgot again. She feels a twinge of guilt, but quickly pushes it aside. She needed that time with her friends. And now she needs her sleep. She can pray tomorrow night. Jesus will forgive her.

And she's sure he doesn't mind.